The traditional roles of men and women in the society are being eroded with modernity and the marriage institution is under a threat especially with the rising rate of divorce. Experts have been saying that one of the core reasons why marriages are likely to break down is that young couples are not adequately prepared for the marriage journey. Moreover a research conducted by Daystar University early this year revealed that 90 per cent of those sampled said they had not gone through pre-marital counselling.
Well, I would like to address something very important. I spare the women in this and my main focus is on men; particularly those who have acquired the title of a husband. Let me remind you something before you divorce that woman you call your wife. You are called a husband for a reason. Let me break it down for you.
Before doing something crazy do you clearly remember that day you took her down the aisle. The day you felt you got the whole world, an angel you couldn’t wait to uncover the package she is made up with. My dear that’s the day they called you a ‘bridegroom.’ They meant you are taking a bride so that you can groom her, from the two words ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’ Now to groom means to take care of someone or something to look better.
Therefore that day they were indirectly telling you:
if you found that the bride doesn’t have good dresses buy them and groom her. She doesn’t know how to cook pilau, train her and ensure she become a good cook, she doesn’t know how to catch your attention, then teach her. Instead of heaping blames, be the groom to bring goodness out of her.
After taking her to the matrimonial house, you should have started the process of grooming. You transited and she calls you “my husband.” But unfortunately in your little mind you always think she’s a property that you can return it back to the buyer at your convenient time. My dear, let me explain to you what a husband is supposed to be.
1. A husband is a holder or connector
The term husband refers to the old English hūsbōnda. It evolved to houseband in the middle ages and now husband. It is made up of two words house-band. The word band means to hold together or to dwell.
In the past centuries a recently married man was exempt from going to war for one year. He was supposed to dwell and connect with his wife. He was expected to learn how to hold his house together even after one year had elapsed. But today the narrative has changed; married men are quick to run out of their wives to cinema halls to watch football. When children come into the picture it’s even worse; they don’t have time to connect with their family. If you are a ‘house-band out there behave like one.
2. A husband is a cultivator
The original sense of husband as a verb means to till or cultivate. The latter signifies parental care or foster, it also denotes to grow something.
Therefore if as a husband you’re not nurturing your woman to grow; socially, economically, spiritually then you’re not performing your duty.
3. A husband is an economizer
The term husband is synonymous with eke. It means to economize. Thus to be a husband means to be in the position to use things sparingly and avoid waste. Be that person.
In conclusion, David Beckham once said “In my career, there’s many things I’ve won and many things I’ve achieved, but for me, my greatest achievement is my children and my family. It’s about being a good father, a good husband, just being connected to family as much as possible.” What about you?