POWERFUL REVELATION: Unlocking the code of men’s feelings

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There’s need to understand men as far as feelings are concerned. Women and men are different. Inasmuch as socialization plays a key role in shaping the gender, the truth still remains that men won’t easily express their true inner feelings as compared to women.

Ladies I would want you to get this right. Men struggle when it comes to expressing their true feelings into words. They would rather convert those feelings into another thing than speaking out. This give birth to what I call man ego or anger. The combination can cause enormous difficulty in a relationship; because for two to relate well there is need for each partner to feel known and valued by the other.

However If either of the couple cannot translate into words their inner feelings about not being known and valued, but instead hides, defends, or deflects such feelings, then disharmony and misunderstanding are inevitable.

Men feel ashamed for expressing feelings of vulnerability, saddness, dependency needs and weakness(mostly stereotyped to be feminine). They also have feelings but hide and defend them.

Examples
1. Asha goes like “let me show you….You should have asked for assistance how to operate this machine, this isn’t how they do it” this offended Omar, “who told you I want to do it like them, please stop lecturing me and have respect atleast for once. I know what am doing?” But moments later the machine got faulty because of mishandling. Why? The truth is that Omar doesn’t have the proper knowledge to handle the machine and this is what he doesn’t want to acknowledge. He rather convert such feelings of dependency to anger. Moreover his wife is proving him that she knows better and therefore attacking his ego. This creates commotion.

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2. John called her wife stupid, and this got her offended. So upon realising this John felt saddened inside him that he offended his wife but couldn’t just apologize. “Am sorry” he goes on ” BUT you pushed me. You shouldn’t have talked to me like that.” This makes her wife to argue more “so you are saying it’s my fault?” And the argument goes on. The problem here is that the man doesn’t want to express his true feelings of remorse and saddness that he’s so sorry but pride won’t let him. The use of BUT speaks of his defense. He doesn’t want to own his mistake

3. Barisa threatens to pick a fight with the man that gave his girlfriend a new brand phone. “Why could he give you a phone? Who told him am not capable?” The problem here is that Barisa doesn’t have the financial capacity at the moment to buy a new phone for his girlfriend. So instead of acknowledging this and express his true feelings of his financial status, he gets angry and start quarrelling with his woman.

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In Conclusion, never try to improve your man through what you call constructive criticism. STOP IT. it won’t work. He does not need his woman to tell him what he’s doing is wrong. He knows it already, and even if he does not, he doesn’t want to hear it from her. The more he hears it from her the more he will be unable to change. Stop highlighting his flaws, faults, and failings. No man want his partner to see him as flawed. Never attack their ego. But be soft and gentle in your approach. Moreover men sometimes should also learn to swallow their pride and save their relationships.

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